Amazing Business Terms
[1] CEO:
Chief Embezzlement Officer.
[2] CFO:
Corporate Fraud Officer.
[3] BULL MARKET:
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a
financial genius.
[4] BEAR MARKET:
A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no
jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
[5] VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
[6] P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
[7] BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
[8] STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
[9] STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
[10] STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
[11] MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
[12] CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.
[13] INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.
[14] MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
[15] INVESTOR - Sucker
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