EXCUSE 1: "Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the train got late. Rather than let you down, I took a cab. I spent 500 bucks on it. But the cab got a puncture on the way. I ran and got a ride on a helicopter (an air-force officer was kind to me), dropped off on top of India Gate, and was brought here in an ambulance." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," your boss will say, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
EXCUSE 2: "You know, I'm not late if you go by Pacific Standard Time."
EXCUSE 3: I'm not late, I'm early for next time. sticking my head in a moose."
EXCUSE 4: "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
EXCUSE 5: I wasn't late. I just failed to be on time.
EXCUSE 6: I was in a meeting. ..... What, you weren't invited? That's messed up.
EXCUSE 7: The young man was three hours late was because his 3-year-old kid had thrown the car keys into the toilet and flushed it. They had to call a plumber to fish them out.
EXCUSE 8: I'm working on getting everyone in position.
EXCUSE 9: When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
EXCUSE 10: I will come in late for work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work.
EXCUSE 11: I fell asleep in the shower.
EXCUSE 12: I ran into a parade.
EXCUSE 13: I didn't want to seem to eager.
EXCUSE 14: "Sorry, sir. I overslept and dreamt I had a dead-end job, a windowless office and a humourless baboon for a boss."
EXCUSE 15: "I had to take extra time this morning to wrestle with overwhelming aggressive impulses by reassuring myself that nothing would happen today that would push me over the edge."
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