Top 15 Farcical Journalism

[1] Infertility unlikely to be passed on - Montgomery Advertiser
[2] Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link - Cornell Daily Sun
[3] Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut - The New York Times
[4] Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find - The Los Angeles Times
[5] Light' meals are lower in fat, calories - Huntington Herald-Dispatch
[6] Alcohol ads promote drinking - The Hartford Courant
[7] Malls try to attract shoppers - The Baltimore Sun
[8] Official: Only rain will cure drought - The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts[9] Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men - The Sunday Oregonian
[10] Low Wages Said Key to Poverty - Newsday
[11] Man shoots neighbor with machete - The Miami Herald
[12] Economist uses theory to explain economy - Collinsville Herald-Journal
[13] Bible church's focus is the Bible --- Saint Augustine Record, Florida
[14] Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear --- Journal of Commerce
[15] Lack of brains hinders research --- The Columbus Dispatch

My Friend, I am always with you! - Poem

My Friend, I am always with you!

When true friendshipbinds
two individuals together,
that bond can never be broken.
For in times of confusion,
I will be there to listen to you.
In times of sadness,
I will be there to console you.

In times of anger,
I will be there to talk with you.
Even when miles separate us,
my friend,when you are confused,
when you are sad,
when you are angry,
search your heart,
and I will be there.
I am and always will beyour friend.

FUNNY INSTRUCTIONS ON LABELS

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:Warning: may cause drowsiness.(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning: keep out of children.(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)